I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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