I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
