apparently the secret to your success is patron
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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