dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
