This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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