return my video game
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I stole a fireplace last night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
