Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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