Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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