you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
