dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize