I faked an abortion last night.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
