She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
