mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
