wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
