i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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