Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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