Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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