I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
