margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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