I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
