I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
