What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Shame - the story of my life.
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