god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
