he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
