Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
