Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
