Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I need to calm my uterus...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
