hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
