You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize