I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
