Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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