best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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