I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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