I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
