It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
