I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize