she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
