I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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