So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
