come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
