she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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