she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
