i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
