is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
