the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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