he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
