If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
