like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize