Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
