i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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