Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I forget how to act sober
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