I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
