sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
