I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
