just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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