Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
