Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
