Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
