Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Randomize
