somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
