I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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