why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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