I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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