Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
