She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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