margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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